I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
