Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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