i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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