So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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