You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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