i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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