good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I woke up under a house in Key West
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