We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I need help removing her.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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