I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
