Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize