Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
you never un-have a 4some
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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