I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
This is my gift to your gina
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
