got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
This can only be settled by a dance off.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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