If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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