I wish i was in the wii world.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
