hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
