just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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