it wasn't lemon gatorade
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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