Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
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Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
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I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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