Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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