Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
