Moan for me like Helen Keller
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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