So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
