lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
