you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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