Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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