Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
