It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize