She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
