If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
