I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it glows. i had to have it.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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