i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
