she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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