the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
