I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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