First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
