1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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