they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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