so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize