glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
