He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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