Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
