so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
