oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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