I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
