Plan B is the new Plan A
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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