So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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