Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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