Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He felt like a one man threesome
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that