Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
