walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
These 19 Sad People Chose Video Games Over Sex
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back