Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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