Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize