I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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