So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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