I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
