you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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