Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize