Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
