i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
