You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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