I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
