Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
