are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize