Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
