I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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