none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
