every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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