His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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