My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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