Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
